Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
