He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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