yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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