sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
