he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
