ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
