someone threw a dead crab at me
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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