Already got asked if we're dating
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
