This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
