how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
