Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
