At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize
