Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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