Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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