I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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