All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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