people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
you had me at cake vodka
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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