Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
