Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
