Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
