wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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