hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
