Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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