No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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