I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
