is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
