11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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