So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
