and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
