I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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