Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
