We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Randomize
