For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
