It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
