Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
