Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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