No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Randomize