Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
