I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
