We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i will never coherently bang her
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
