Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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