Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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