Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
And then he peed in my hair
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