Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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