That's intense
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
