Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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