my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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