Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
