I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
