Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
