I accidentally burped into my bong.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
