really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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