I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
