new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
