I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
