Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
