I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
